BE VULNERABLE AND
SPEAK FROM YOUR HEART
Do you speak from the heart? Do you remember how it feels to speak from the heart? When was the last time you did? If you do, that’s great. If you don’t, why not?
Have there been times in your life you wanted to speak from your heart, but for whatever reason, you didn’t. How many times has this happened to you? Show of hands. It’s okay, no one is around to see anyways. Something held you back. Maybe you felt awkward. Maybe you thought your words had no value. Do you think what you had to say wasn’t worth saying? After all, who wants to hear what you have to say? It’s stupid. Nevermind, it’s not important. But it actually was.
Do you remember when you used to speak from the heart? When you felt free and you could just express yourself, your thoughts and feelings without worry. We all used to speak from our hearts. But as we grew up we were given rules and reasons that prevented us from speaking from the heart. Speaking our truth. We were told not to be impolite. Not to point out the obvious. Not to make others feel uncomfortable. Or that what you had to say was inappropriate. For me, it was the times when the love of my life (at the time) would ask how I was doing/feeling. Instead of speaking from the heart and telling them the truth about how I was feeling lost and disinterested in the relationship. How could I open up and tell them I was no longer in love with them? I chose to tell them everything was fine and watched as day by day I drifted away. We all have stories just like mine. If you think back, what was the motivation for you to not speak from the heart? For me, it was the vulnerability. I didn’t want to hurt, but I didn’t want to be hurt either.
As a recovering pleaser, I would often try to avoid conflict or hurt a loved one’s feelings, just to keep the peace. What I found is that when I stopped speaking from my heart, I became resentful and not just with the person I had not been authentic with, but with myself as well. An inner conflict would surface, time and again, because I knew I wasn’t being honest with myself and stifling my heart. I knew what I wanted to say. I just chose to evade the possibility of conflict to ensure everything was “fine.”
By not speaking your heart you are hurting yourself and your loved ones because you are not opening up. You are not allowing yourself to be vulnerable. You are hiding your true self. You don’t want to be hurt so you don’t let your heart speak. Be honest with yourself. Be honest with those around you. Your sincerity and authenticity will resonate with others.
“Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be”
– Danielle LaPorte –
Labels. There are labels put on us by others and ones we have put on ourselves. How many labels do you use to describe yourself?
Where did the labels come from? Think about who gave you your labels (chances are there is more than one contributor). Where were you when you got them? How old were you? How long have you been keeping these labels attached to you? How much longer are you going to hold on to them?
In grade 8, I was told I was “stupid” because I couldn’t figure out a math equation. In grade 11 I was told I was a “fag” because I enjoyed acting and was performing in a play that semester. In grade 12, I was told that I was a “geek” and “nerd” because I enjoyed chess. I could continue, but really, what’s the point. We all have stories just like mine. I can list plenty of people, I remember their names, I know the time of day, and can recall the conversation.
Funny thing is, if you were to ask any of them about the same situations, they would have a tough time remembering any of it. Wanna know why? Because they didn’t hold on to it and carry it around with them for their entire life. That’s on you. Harsh words I know. But, it is your choice to hold onto a label someone else said in the heat of the moment. Maybe they wanted to emotionally hurt you. Or, maybe they were just having a really shitty day and wanted to spread it around. It is your choice to hold onto this label or remove it and reclaim your life.
Before I move on to the next topic, I just want to clarify, the labels that were placed on you are not badges of honor. They are holding you back. Just the way they have held me back in my life. And just like me, you have a choice to continue carrying around these labels like an emotional sherpa or you can start removing the baggage, piece by piece, one label at a time. Will it happen overnight? Probably not, but trust me when I tell you it is something that must be done. If you truly want to re-discover the authentic you. The person that has been trapped behind layers of labels. You must peel them all away. You are worth it.
“Speak your truth, even if your voice shakes.”
– Robin Sharma –
Speaking your truth will set you free.
Once we have removed our labels, how do we reconnect with our voice? How do we begin to speak from our hearts again?
Before I try to convince everyone on the reasons for speaking from the heart, let me back up and provide my interpretation. I think speaking from the heart is raw, unedited and vulnerable. It is truth. Your truth. It can’t be faked. It’s as real as it gets. There is authenticity. Speaking from our hearts is when we allow ourselves to open up and show our soft underbelly, trusting that even though we are completely vulnerable, it will still be okay. Speaking from the heart means being in the moment. Letting your feelings flow from you and sharing that essence, in each moment. It is sharing. It is inviting others in.
Speaking from the heart is being authentic, it is being vulnerable, unashamed, brave, courageous, open and connected to your heart-centered truth. When we are honest and share that honesty with others, we are completely vulnerable. This vulnerability may trigger our insecurities and fears. We are so afraid that if we are seen as our true self, we will not be good enough. Make no mistake, being vulnerable is a risk, but one I think is very much worth taking. Remember, it’s about a genuine connection. You need to be open to connect. Speak what is in your heart. Don’t be afraid. If what you are saying is your truth and is spoken from a place of authenticity, it will resonate with others. Don’t fear your heart or what it has to say.
Practice speaking from your heart with everyone you meet, all the time. When you run into a friend on the street, speak from your heart. When you talk to your loved ones speak from your heart. When you’re at a store talking to a cashier or being driven home by a taxi driver, speak from your heart. Whenever you meet someone new, speak from your heart. It will create an authentic and genuine connection. It will form a deeper connection. It doesn’t matter if it is a chance meeting with someone you will never see again or the person you have chosen to spend your life with. Speak your heart, say the words, say them out loud. Give your words space and the validity they deserve. Your words matter. You matter. Most importantly, the words in your heart need to be heard and the only way that can happen is if you say them.
I have a tradition of signing off with a song on my blog posts. Although I have never dedicated a song to someone before, I feel like this is the right time. A friend in South Africa lost someone special this past week. This is a song is for her. Much love.
Are you in your late 30's or 40's and thinking back on how exactly you wound up in the career you are in today? Chances are if you are like me, you took the safe path. You were told to get a job with benefits, a retirement plan and not rock the boat. Work your way up. Move up the corporate ladder. Just work hard and when you are done, retire.
Yup, you played it safe and now, you are questioning what you are doing and where you are going?
Let me ask you, do you remember when you were excited about life's possibilities? When you believed you could do anything. Do you ever wonder what happened? When did you lose touch with your passion? Have you given up on your hopes and dreams? Or, have they simply gone astray.
Sign up to for the Stop the Pity Party. Restart Your Passion 7 Day Change Challenge and begin to rekindle your passion. Reclaim your beliefs to create the life you have the responsibility to live. A life of fulfillment, possibility, wonder, and passion.