Change your relationship
Failure does not define you, nor does it diminish your successes and accomplishments. We all must fail before we succeed. Celebrate your failures. Embrace them. Failure is what moves us forward.
I find that as I have gotten older I have begun to place fear of failure over the possibility of success. Choosing to “play it safe” instead of risking the chance of experiencing defeat. I have found that whenever take the easy route or familiar route. I am “guaranteed” a familiar outcome. However, I am left wondering what could have been? What might have been if only I had… Whenever I choose to play it safe I end up having regrets. I am scared of making mistakes.
This was not always the case. When I was a child I was a risk taker. I would always “go for it.” What changed? How did I evolve into a non-risk taker? Well, simply put my fear of failure. But more to the point, the fear of what others would say or think about my failure. The snickers behind my back. How I wasn’t able to “win.” Those voices in my head that might scream out, “I told you so. I told you that it wouldn’t work.”
So how do we change our fear of failure and the internal dialogue that rides accompanies those thoughts? I can offer my own experience with my fear of failure. I recently came across a quote that resonated with me. “Never a failure, always a lesson.” I have re-discovered that failure is necessary to move us forward, on our way to success. Just like we all figured out how to walk, we must all figure out how to overcome our fears around failure. Face your fears. Challenge them. Meet them head on. Do not run from them. Make a choice to remove negativity from your life and surround yourself with positivity.
“Even if you try and fail, it doesn’t mean
that you didn’t learn something.”
– Thomas Edison –
The lessons I have learned from my life experience is what I would call the scenic route and were absolutely invaluable and I wouldn’t change it for anything. Those experiences molded me into the person I am today.
I think I try my best to make the right decisions, but I still have failures, I still make mistakes. But, I have found I learn far more from my failures than I do from my successes. Which leads me to wonder, how can I create a balance of learning from my mistakes, learning what I need to learn, growing and moving forward?
For me, I try to remember “It’s just a moment in time.” Whatever situation you find yourself going through, no matter how big or small, it is just a moment in time. A moment that presented itself to you and will pass. You will make the best decision you can with the information you have at the time. The way you handle the situation will be up to you. You have a choice to face the moment with either a positive attitude or negative.
Something may seem horrible as it is happening, but it won’t seem as bad, minutes, hours and days later as it did as it was happening. I try to remind myself that these are the moments that provides a deeper insight into ourselves, our vulnerabilities, our triggers and offer us learning opportunities. Trust that you are doing your best. It will be good enough.
“I think you have to try and fail, because failure
gets you closer to what you’re good at.”
– Louis C.K. –
As I close out my blog post I would like to continue with my tradition of signing off with a song.
All at Once
Are you in your late 30's or 40's and thinking back on how exactly you wound up in the career you are in today? Chances are if you are like me, you took the safe path. You were told to get a job with benefits, a retirement plan and not rock the boat. Work your way up. Move up the corporate ladder. Just work hard and when you are done, retire.
Yup, you played it safe and now, you are questioning what you are doing and where you are going?
Let me ask you, do you remember when you were excited about life's possibilities? When you believed you could do anything. Do you ever wonder what happened? When did you lose touch with your passion? Have you given up on your hopes and dreams? Or, have they simply gone astray.
Sign up to for the Stop the Pity Party. Restart Your Passion 7 Day Change Challenge and begin to rekindle your passion. Reclaim your beliefs to create the life you have the responsibility to live. A life of fulfillment, possibility, wonder, and passion.